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Monday, January 02, 2006
Tap.. Tap..
Just when I thought I'd breeze through detention, I find myself stuck with a bunch of pervs who tried to sneak in the girl's locker room (which seems typical) and a gay couple making out in the back. Gee, just when I thought things were bad enough getting detention for helping someone else. You would think that kind of thing would get you awarded. Just goes to show how messed up things can be sometimes.
At the same time, I don't understand how it all happened. I'm not even the type of person who would go as far as get into a fight, and what's even more unlikely, is that I did it for a girl who I've never met. But anyone could see that jock was really out of line. I mean, I had to do something, right? Things like that just can't go unnoticed, yet it happens to someone everyday. And most of the time, no ones there to help.
'Aemilia' I mouth her name quietly. There was something about her that was so.. I dunno. I can't seem to find the words to explain her. Why am I even thinking about her?!! It is her fault I'm here wasting away..
How long has it been? DAMMIT!! 10 Minutes?! Am I just a really slow thinker or has time just stopped to piss me off?
.........
Man, that couple's still making out.
THIS SUCKS.
"Hey Vicky, what's up?" I ask as Vicky walks to our table pulling the pencil from his graying hair and looking down to smile at us.
"Not much Johnny, hey, new girl? But I just met the last one a couple of weeks ago!! Gee, pretty quick dontcha think?" Vicky said in disapproval and surprisingly with a hint of awe.
Oh god. I steal a look at Jenna, and I just see her calmly staring out the window, as if she didn't hear anything. "Vicky, just 'coz I have a girlfriend doesn't mean I can't be friends with girls anymore. Anna doesn't rule my life. And Jenna's just a friend, really." I manage to mutter and see that Jenna is looking at me right now, with an expression I can't really specify so I turn back to Vicky.
"Oh, right. Sorry about that." He says and gives Jenna an apologetic look. "So what do you guys wanna have?" Vicky changes the subject and grips his pad paper.
"Well I'll have a cheeseburger, chili fries and a rootbeer, The usual." I say and turn to Jenna.
"I'll have a bacon cheeseburger please and just plain fries. Oh and a Coke." She says to Vicky as we both give her the I-thought-girls-never-ate-anything look.
"What?" She says noticing my expression.
"Nothin'". I say breaking our eye contact.
"Alright kids, I'll be back in a few minutes." Vicky says as he rips the paper and walks over to the counter.
"So." I say.
"So, aren't you going to ask me those annoying 'ice breaker' questions?" She looks at me amusedly, while leaning on the cushioned side of her booth and crossed her arms.
"Wow, that eager huh?" I smirk at her and she raises an eyebrow. "O-k. So. Why'd you move?"
"Umm, my mom got a promotion." She said beginning to play with the salt shaker.
"And your dad was okay with it?" Oh oops. I forgot she told me he ran off.. But I wasn't supposed to know that anyway so I guess it's okay since I'm not j_greene.. "I mean, uhh, what about his job?" I tried to supply. Dammit. She looks so uncomfortable.
"Um.. I never really knew my dad.. My mom said he could never umm, handle being a father, he told her it wasn't the direction he wanted to go.. um, so he left us when my brother was only 5 and I was 6.." She muttered quickly, looking down.
Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. Didn't she say he ran off? Well I mean technically, he ran off now, but she pretty much meant ran off with another girl to j_greene. This is all too confusing.
"Oh. I'm sorry." I said flatly.
"So you like to draw huh?" I said trying to change the subject.
I can't believe this.
Was she lying to me or j_greene?
"Yeah.. it's probably one of the only things I can do a bit better than other people." She says shrugging and looking up at me with a hint of a smile.
"A BIT better? You're drawings are awesome." I say smiling and finally letting go of the "dad" thing, for the meanwhile at least.
"How nice of you to comment about how, what was it-- Demented? My bunnies were." She says smiling and pretending to think really hard.
Just then Vicky comes with our orders, the strong aroma of unhealthy 'junk' food filling the air. Just the way I like it. I thought and looked across at Jenna who was hungrily eyeing her bacon cheeseburger as the plate was being put down before her.
"Mmm, I'm starting to think you were right about this place. This looks really good." She says, happily reaching over to get the ketchup.
I looked around the diner. It was a pretty small place, simple, and predominantly black, white and red. It's been a part of my life here, tons of memories took place here, it's almost like a second home for me.
There were actually a lot of people I recognized from Westmount. Most of them were jocks and cheerleaders though, with their dad's credit cards and whatnot. I noticed a couple of cool seniors though, twins, Matt and Billy Harrison, with a couple of more seniors that I don't know by name. I wonder what happened to their band? I asked myself as they began laughing hard about something. Their band, The Lost Marbles, were usually the band we'd team up with during gigs and stuff. They were always fun to have around.
I talked more to Jenna about random things, mostly about music and bands, but it seemed the more she talked about herself, the more interested I became in her. Talking to her made everyone else seem.. well, unimportant and everything was pointless unless I was with her. And even though I was still bothered about her dad, I couldn't resist having a great time with her.
It's hard to explain the feeling you get when you've been surrounded by so many different people that you supposedly know well, yet when you meet a specific person or a bunch of awesome people, you get this refreshing and genuine feeling of exhilaration. That's how I felt when I met my band, that's exactly how I felt with her.
"Well um, thanks again for the meal. It was..." I began to say.
"Was....?" Johnny looked at me with amusement.
"Strangely fun." I say finally, after some thought. That was exactly how it seemed. Strangely fun.
"Yeah." He says smiling. For a moment, I almost got lost into those forest green eyes, I could see hints of teal around them, that made it look somewhat aquamarine.. but I knew better than to come off as desperate or even lustful. Ahem.
"Well I better get go-"
"I have one last annoying icebreaker question for you Jenna Lane." He let go of the wheel for a moment and put his hands on his thighs. And looked at me deeply, as if searching for something.
"W-well.. uhh... what is it?" I said starting to feel inferior as his eyes burned through my skin. It's amazing, the power those things can contain. Hah. I finally brought myself to look back at them when he suddenly leans over, still failing to look away.
"Are we friends now?" He says softly, his breath tickling my face. God, it's intoxicating. He's intoxicating. He smiles again, and I would've suffocated if I hadn't remembered to inhale again.
"I think we are." I managed to say smiling. Today was absolutely awesome. I began to open the car door when I turned around once more. He was still looking at me, and god, everytime I looked at his eyes I felt like he was sending me these subliminal messages that I couldn't fully understand yet. Keyword here, yet.
"It was great.. thanks for taking me to Vicky's.. that caramel mallow sundae was truly awesome.. um, listen, I know you would've preferred to take Anna.. but-"
"Anna? Oh." For a second there, he looked like he completely forgot about her, but then smirks at me before saying, "Are you suggesting that you wanna comfort little old me?" He wiggled his eyebrows.
"Oh god! Never mind!!" I started laughing and got out the car. "Thanks again!" I said bending over so I could look at those pools of green one more time. "Anytime Jenna." And drove off.
I slowly walked up to the front porch and noticed a silver Audi and a graphite BMW sedan parked in the driveway. Ah, mom's home early and Dave got out of detention. I thought happily as I pulled out the keys and opened the front door.
I had such a great time with Johnny, but something troubling popped into my head. Was I getting way over myself? I mean, I don't want to get too involved with Johnny.. umm, emotionally. I mean, this was like, the first time I really spent time with him despite our little meetings at school. I don't want to end up like Tracy and Steve.. I mean, I dunno... I'll just take this one step at a time.
"Jenna dear, come in the kitchen!! The food's ready!" I hear my mom say from the kitchen. I begin walking towards the kitchen as muffled laughs of Dave and my mom get louder.
"Hi bro, hi mom." I greet them warmly and sit at the table. Mmm, spaghetti and meatballs.
"Hey Jenna." My brother says before stuffing his mouth with a forkful of spaghetti.
"How was detention?" I ask only to be answered by a groan. "That bad huh?" I replied laughing.
"You know David, I still don't understand how you can get in trouble for saving someone's life!" My mom says with disbelief.
"I think you're exaggerating mom." I said amused by her reaction.
"Why Jenna dear, you haven't touched anything yet. Eat! Come on, Dave helped make the noodles." Mom encourages.
"Nah mom, that's ok. I just ate." I told her, almost allowing a smile to creep into my face.
"Ohh, that explains why you're home late then! Did you have fun?" She looks genuinely interested. Dave just keeps eating. Men!
"Yeah I did.. Hey mom, would it be okay if I excused myself from dinner? Since I ate and all.." I yawned. Today was pretty tiring you know.. having to sit around all day and pretend to listen.. It can take a lot of energy out of you, seriously!
"Oh, sure dear. Go ahead." She smiles warmly. I love my mom.
"Thanks mom. I'll be in my room if you need me." I say getting up and giving her a hug. I ruffle Dave's hair on the way too. He hates it, and I love doing it.
"Arghh! Jenna!" He screams, his mouth still full of meatballs and spaghetti.
I was laughing all the way up the stairs, and then sigh. What I need is a warm shower and a visit to my favorite place........
Welcome to LetsRockToday where everyone is stickin' it to the man. Please observe proper chatting ettiquete and remember, Rock 'n' Roll will save your soul!! This week's news :
Posted at 03:18 am by whatshername88
Permalink
Saturday, October 29, 2005
***
Chapter 10
A Fine Afternoon
"So it was a rough night,
It's just you and me now, feels right.
I hold your hand, we escape into another land,
In a place, I've never been before.
We kiss and I never wanted anything more
"Woooaaahhh! woahoah!!!
The sun and the stars are all we have,
As we begin our new lives
Just the thought of you gives me..
An internal dive..
"I--"
"Nice song. Bad singing though.." A voice surprises me from behind. I sit up on the hood to see that it was Johnny standing beside Dave's car. The weirdo.
The weirdo who's wearing a gray shirt and looks really good in it.
NO!
"Uh, what do you want?" I ask.
"Do I always have to want something from you Jenna? Can't I just.. be here, just to talk.. become better friends with you?" He said as he moved closer to me. Or the car.. which ever.
" 'Better'? I don't remember becoming friends with you." I answered. Hah. take that.
"Ouch. Fine then. I wonder what people have to do to formally 'become' friends with you.. Have a blood pact perhaps?"
"Gee, no wonder girls can't resist you. You're so charming and witty." I replied stone-faced.
"No need to get all hostile. So what's a girl like you doing here all alone after school?" He asks leaning on the side of the car.
"My brother got detention today, so I have to wait for him." I answered pathetically.
"Oh. Sucks for you." He shrugs and looks past the parking lot.
"Uhh.. might I ask you what you're doing here, since you're so much better than me?" Thinks he's so cool..
"I'm waiting for my girlfriend. We were supposed to go to Vicky's to grab something and I dunno.. waste the afternoon." He answered shrugging and stared at the ground.
"Oh gee.. sounds like fun." I tried to supply as his phone began ringing.
"Excuse me a minute alright?" He tells me as he turns around and answers the phone's persistent ringing as I nod and lie back down on the hood. "Hello?"
"Oh, hey Anna.. what? Oh, you can't? What project? With Gina? Yeah that's alright I guess... I'll be okay.. I'll find something else to do then. No it's okay. Okay, talk to you later, Bye..."
"Well then," He turns to me as he puts the phone back into his pocket, "Scratch what I just said, I have nothing to do on this fine afternoon." He says in a suddenly tired voice.
"What's wrong? Afraid of being away from your girlfriend for more than 10 hours?" I replied. He's more of a loser than I thought.
"No.. it's not that." He scratches his head for a few seconds and looks up, "It's hard to explain but screw it, wanna go to Vicky's anyway? Since we both have time to kill..? To BECOME friends?" He looked at me with those brilliantly green eyes, his voice almost begging I go. What about Dave? I thought.
"Detention doesn't get out 'til another million hours, trust me." He replied as if reading my mind.
"I guess that would be okay.. Isn't that where the preps hang out at though?" I asked. I have never really.. been to a diner. Not here at least. And the fact that I hate the people who hang out there doesn't help much either.
"Yeah they do hang there, but man.. he's got the best chili fries and hot caramel mallow sundaes in the world." He smiled. And don't even get me started on the smile.
"Well then I better check out this caramel mallow sundae, though I don't feel like you're right on that one..." I said as I smiled and got off the hood of the car and began walking away with Johnny.
'This should be interesting.' I said to myself as I was walking beside Johnny to the other side of the parking lot. I wish it was j_greene instead though..
~
'Man, I wanna tell her already...But I can't.. it'll ruin everything..' I looked at her staring straight into the almost-sunset, thinking deeply about something.. I smiled and stared off into the horizon... of the parking lot. JM8875... Oh, there it is.
"Whoa. THIS is your car?" She gapes at the black car in front of us. "This is a 1970's classic!!"
"Yeah, it's a Dodge Challenger, but uh, it seem's you already know that." I say as she walks closer and touches the car.
"This is incredible. Did it cost a fortune?" She asks. She's into cars too?
"Kinda, this model was hard to find though. And I've been saving a lot so.." I scratch my neck and shrug. "C'mon, let's get going." I say as she looks at me and the car back and forth, itching to ride it.
"So what do you feel like listening to right now?" I asked when we were finally settled in.
"Hmm.. do you have any Operation Ivy?"
"Good choice." I say as I pop in Operation Ivy's Lint Rides Again cd as the song Yellin' In My Ear blares through the speakers.
"Ah. Awesome song." She says smiling and bops her head to the beat.
"So.. do I have your approval yet?"
"Almost. But you're getting closer." She says smiling as I pull away from the parking lot.
***
Posted at 08:21 am by whatshername88
Permalink
Thursday, October 06, 2005
***
- Chapter 9 -
Things have changed quite a bit since I admitted to myself my true feelings about Johnny. It's weird, but I've become more conscious about what he says and I tend to overanalyze. A lot. I always get too excited whenever I see him online & when we talk, I get this intense feeling of happiness that I just can't put into words..
"Thinking about him again?" Mona looked at me. Oops?
"Oh. Did I space out for that long?" I asked.
"Jenna, you've been spaced out all week." Andy said skeptically.
I lay down on the field, our usual lunch spot and gave a loud sigh. These things get so complicated..
"Why don't you just tell him already?" Jean asked. As you can see, I had told them the whole story.
"I can't just go and ruin the friendship like that.. it's selfish." I told them.
"And how do you know he doesn't feel the same way? I bet that was the reason why he sent you that 3 Doors Down song. I mean, those lyrics were just way too appropriate just be an accident." Mona reasoned.
"That's true, Jenna." Jean and Andy agreed.
"I suppose I should.." I said defeatedly.
"Should what?" Jack said as he and Martin arrived and sat on the grass beside me and Mona.
"WHAT is it with you guys and butting in!" Jean said annoyed.
"It's a talent." Jack said proudly and I seemed to be the only one who laughed.
"See, at least Jenna has a sense of humor. It's a good thing you came to Westmount you know.. People are just too-" Jack tried to say, but Andy threw her cupcake at him icing first, giving him a large blue blob on his forehead. Mona was laughing so hard she didn't notice the milk Martin squirted at her was all over her face.
"YOU ASSHOLE!" Mona managed to choke out as she threw her mashed potatoes at Martin.
Thus, the food fight began.
Since it started to get messy, we were all running around throwing food. Jack began to chase me with spaghetti and cupcake chunks, but after a few seconds, I lost breath and had to stop and hide somewhere. It's pathetic how bad I am at sports. Really.
"AAAAAHHHHH!" Spaghetti filled my mouth and was smeared across my face. Jack had obviously spotted me and attacked from behind. We wrestled as I tried to smear what was left of my mashed potato on his hair.
"Stop!! Stop!!! I give up!!!" I screamed.
Whoa. Wait a minute. What just happened? Jack was on top of me on the grass, smiling devilishly. For some reason, I began to see him, like really see him. He smelled of.. well, he smelled of mashed potato now that I was done with him, but there was a hint of peppermint. Damn this intoxicating mashed potato peppermint scent. His bright blue eyes were staring straight at my boring brown ones, and they looked so deep.. so full of meaning. He breathed heavily still recovering from our little sprint as his jet black and blueish hair was messily fixed on his head. I looked down at his lips.. his labret piercing, his left lip pierce, his--
"Well, this is certainly awkward.. in an entertaining way of course. We should head back and get all those noodles out of your hair." He smiled and got off me, helping me up afterwards. We walked together laughing as we saw Mona ontop of Martin, a triumphant look on her face for Martin was full of mystery meat, milk and jello.
So much for that awkward position.
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"Hey baby... come here.."
"I'm not one of your toys Rob, leave me alone."
"Oh please, you know you want me.."
Crash. [body pushed against lockers]
"L-let go off me you.. you!!!
"Are you scared of aggression? Of being this close to a guy? Don't think I haven't noticed you looking at me during class Caphis.."
"Apparently your ego was bigger than I thought.. I would never look at a cliche wannabe like you. Get off me!!"
"Hey leave the girl alone!!!!" I ran and pushed the guy away from the girl. 'What the hell are you doing? You don't even know these two!' I thought as moved towards the guy.
"Piss off reject! You should know better than to mess with me!" He answered.
"Maybe you're right. But from what I already know, you're a big-headed, horny ass-wipe who can't piss off this girl's business. Am I right?" I smirked. That oughta get to him..
"Why you..." Those were his last words. Since he jumped on me and we began fighting of course.
I was busy punching his face in to realize I was being pulled away from that poor guy. He had it coming anyway..
"Mr. Lane, I hope you don't think I WON'T put this in your file, because I most DEFINITELY will." Principle Walters said maliciously as he grabbed my arm and began taking me to the direction of his office.
"Mr. Walters! I-it wasn't his fault! It was Rob's fault. I mean, let me explain. Please." The girl tried to reason with him and to my surprise, he stopped and looked at her. I took this opportunity to look at the girl who I "defended". She was Asian, with long jet black hair, she dressed conservatively, a dark sweater and gray pants. She was skinny and pale -- I was intrigued with her appearance.. like I've never seen someone who looked so interesting before.
"Uhhh.. wait! Mr. Walters please. I was walking to class and Rob attempted to forcefully make me.. well.. kiss him and well Dave here, helped me get away from him. If he weren't here to stop Rob from doing an unjust and shameful act, who knows what might have happened. I know it is a quite petty problem Mr. Walters, but please, the only fault Dave has in this was trying to get me away from Rob. Which can hardly be considered a fault, but a good deed."
Whoa. She knows my name? Okay, that's a stupid reaction. What do you expect? I'm a guy.
"If what you're saying is true Ms. Caphis, then I will only grant Mr. Lane one week's worth of detention." Principal Walters replies after some time to think. I sigh as the girl's face brightens slightly as she glances at me and begins to walk away.
"Well okay then-"
"Ms. Caphis, one moment. I'm aware that you have been a good student of Westmount High, contributing greatly to the arts and crafts department. I am also aware that you have nothing against you in your file, so to lie about this incident will cause your records to go from exceptional to extremely dismal."
"I understand Principal Walters and I assure you, nothing of what I said is untrue." She said defiantly.
"Well in that case, Mr. Lane you may attend your next class but please remember to report to detention after your last period. I will inform Ms. Escalus that you will be attending detention for the whole of this week. Don't let me catch you beating up other students, understand?" Principal Walters looked at me sternly and I stared at his shiny bald head walk away and turn into the next hallway.
"Yessir." I said as I turned around and faced the girl.
"Well, well. Should I thank you now "Ms. Caphis", for giving me a week's worth of detention?" I smirked and crossed my arms over my chest.
"Excuse me? It could've been a month for all you know!" She replied annoyedly.
"Oh alright. Thank you for saving my life." I said sarcastically..
"Hey wait a minute. How'd you know my name anyway?" I asked. Now THIS I wanted to know.
"Oh, um. I've seen you around that's all. I heard your name." She said as she began to walk away quicklyto her next class but I caught up with her again.
"And am I supposed to follow you around until I hear your name or are you going to tell me what it is?"
"Aemilia Caphis." She smiled. Looking at her pale face, it seemed that she had a lot to hide.. Her stuttering and her hesitation made it seem like she was almost.. afraid. Weird, I thought. It's like she's plain on the outside but there's more on the inside.. Too much for a first impression I suppose.. I guess that's just how she looked to me.
"Aemilia? That's a very.. unusual name." I said in reply.
"Yes well.. if it's too odd for you to take, you may call me Lily."
"Lily it is." I smiled as we reached the end of the hall and went our separate ways.
It may have been the first time I've seen her in Westmount, but hopefully not the last. What was my class again? Oh, right. Chemistry.
SHIT!
***
Posted at 07:31 am by whatshername88
Permalink
Saturday, September 10, 2005
***
- Chapter Eight -
"Evening miss.. Just here to buy my favorite daughter a gift for her birthday."
"Barbie's are a good choice sir. That'll be $20 sir." The cashier lady replied.
"Really? I never thought it would cost that much.. y'see, I never bought her these girly things. Wanted her to grow up strong, so I bought her a wagon. She hated me for it at first, but after a while she loved it. I thought I was doin' the right thing until her classmates at school made fun of her.. Told her she was a tomboy, see. Then she asked for one of those things, so I thought I'd make up for old times, see." Benjamin Lane explained.
"Oh, I see. Well sir, I'm sure she'll love this as much as she did her wagon." The cashier lady smiled.
"Thank you ma'am." Ben said as paid the $20 he left the store. Cold night.. best I get to the car quickly.. he thought, as he began to pick up the pace towards the red SUV.
"HEY MAN!!! Ya got some? What's that in the bag? Ya got stash my man? Huh?" a junkie asked. Tattered, worn out clothes that he probably just picked up from the trash, skin stained with dirt and blood from his wounds. His hair was messed up and he smelled foul, it was clear that he'd been a bum for quite some time now.
"Sorry, you must have me mistaken for the wrong person.."
"WHAT? You don't have my stash?! I paid 5 grand for that you motherfucker!!" The drug-addict pulled out a gun and pointed it at the man's head.
"It's just a doll for my daughter! Please don't hurt me! I don't have what you want!"
"You don't know a goddam thing 'bout what I want, you fucker!"
BANG.
I woke up in the middle of the night suddenly.. drenched with cold sweat, shivering though there's no wind.. I looked around to make sure, to confirm that it wasn't real.. I had another one of them. I suppose I should get used to these things. These Nightmares. A gun shot, cars screeching.. I saw him again. I turn to my pillow, the closest witness to this vulnerability I have been trying to hide all these years.. Tears filled with regret drain my sense away, and I feel like a 6 year old once more.. Dave heard me from his room and came in, suddenly overwhelmed at the sight. I was never good at hiding my feelings.
"Jenna, what's wrong? Are you okay?" He asked urgently, filled with concern. "It was my fault!" I screamed to him. "It was my fault he's gone!! I wanted it so badly!! I hated him for it. I HATED HIM. It was so useless, and yet I wouldn't take no for an answer.. He went out to get it for me on my 7th birthday. I could've stopped him, I could've changed everything. He would still be alive. Dave, he would've been alive!" I bawled to him. "It wasn't your fault Jenna. It was that junkie's fault.. It's okay.. It wasn't your fault." Dave held me in his arms. I felt protected, safe again.. I couldn't take this.. this guilt. It never would've been this way if I hadn't.. tried to.. conform. All I wanted, was a barbie.. Just one god damned barbie and it changed my life forever.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's hard to wake up,
When the shades have been pulled shut.
I'm ripe with things to say,
The words rot and fall away..
What stupid poem could fix this home,
I'd read it everyday.
I think about Jenna a lot.. Even more these days, since I finally see her in person. But whenever I think about her, eventually my thoughts go back to that day. The day I asked her about the wagon. Seeing as she snapped at me so quickly goes to show she was hiding something. I'll find out why, I don't believe that bullshit about her dad running off. It's more than that, I just know. I know I could be wrong, but something inside me is telling me otherwise.
Ah, there he is.
"Hold on Steve, gotta talk to Marcus." I said to Steve, and walked away to Marcus. He was drinking from a water fountain while I walked over to him and leaned on the wall beside.
"Hey Marcus." I said coolly as he choked on his water.
"Dammit Johnny, stop scaring me like that." Marcus said.
"Couldn't help it. Hey, I need help with something man." I laughed but still looked serious.
"What's up brotha?" He joked.
"I need you to tell me more about the new kids. Meaning that Jenna girl. What do you know?" I asked as I crossed my arms.
"Oh? Uh.."
"Come on man just tell me!!!"
"Well..." began Marcus, "I met them over the summer coz they live on the other end of the street.. Name's Jenna Lane, and her brother's Dave. They're pretty cool. I hang with her brother most of the time, we go to the skate park and stuff, and from what I know his sister usually stays at home in front of her computer chair.. Oh, except those times we go to those gigs and stuff. Yeah, she's pretty hot huh? Hey, why are you so curious about her anyway?" He said.
"Ok thanks-"
"It was you wasn't it? You did it?" A female voice said from behind me. I turned around to see it was Mona Flaire looking quite... pissed off.
"Huh? Uh, did what?" I knew what she meant. I'm not that stupid.
"The cd. You put it in her locker!! What kind of crap are you trying to pull off this time Johnny?! Just stick to your fuckin' groupie okay? She's not like that!!" She said angrily.
"I KNOW she's not like that okay!! Just calm down Mona, I just wanna get to know her. She seems cool." I said defensively.
"Oh please!" Mona said sarcastically.
"Mona, just let him do his thing, he hasn't hurt anyone yet. Aside from the hearts of half the population here, consisting of females and homos." He said. That moron..
"Whatever. I'm not going along with this alright?!" Mona said exasperatedly.
"Mona, please. Just don't tell her anything okay? I'll do it on my own, but I don't want you to ruin it. Can I trust you?" I begged.
"... Oh alright. But if something goes wrong, I'm going straight to her." She said, defeated.
"Thank you!" I hugged her tightly, knowing it would bug her.. She pushed me away fiercely.
"Don't push it Johnny. Your groupie's on the loose and I don't wanna get caught." She joked.
"Don't remind me.." I groaned. Seeing Anna right now will completely ruin my plan.
"Gotta go guys, see ya later!" I began to walk away. Can't wait another day, I gotta talk to her now..
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"Hmm. Nice sketching. Shading's a bit overdone though. Are bunnies that demented?" A voice broke my concentration.
"Excuse me?? Please mind your own business." I kept my drawing in my bag, not bothering to see who it was, all I knew was that it was a guy.. or a girl with an insanely low voice.
"Just thought I'd give you some advice... Oh alright, let's start over. I'm Johnny." He gave me a smile, I jumped a heartbeat.
"You're name's Johnny?" I turned and asked, just to make sure I heard right.
"Yeeaahh, Johnny Madden. Jenna, am I right?" He asked. I noticed how his bright green eyes seemed to twinkle.. What is with this guy..
"How'd you know my name?" I asked, suddenly skeptical. He sat beside me on the grass. He was wearing a black Casualties shirt, and brown cargos.. and messy hair trying to get out of the beanie he was wearing.. Okay fine. So he's hot. He still had bad manners.
"I got my sources.." He winked. I snorted.
"Fine, snort. But just so you know--" He got up but bent towards my left ear. "That drawing was really cool." His voice was soft but low, as if trying to hint something more than what he just said.. His breath tickled my ear, giving me an internal shudder. I turned around to see if he was still there, but he was already walking away.
"Hey Jenna." Jean and Andy came and sat down beside me, both smiling widely.
"Hey." I said in reply. "....... Okay what's up, those smiles are starting to freak me out."
"Saw you talking to Johnny Madden." Andy said proudly.
"So you like seniors, huh?" Jean teased.
"Whoa, whoa. Whoever thought we would engage in, what's the word... oh, right. GOSSIP." I said sarcastically.
"Oh come on Jen. So we hate society. Doesn't mean we've become heartless wenches, not to everyone at least. So what did he want?" Andy asked as she took a bite out of her sandwich.
"Ha. Ha. I was just drawing, minding my OWN business and he just butts in and tells me my shading's off." I said, still slightly shaken from that whisper thing.
"Aww how sweet." Jean said sarcastically.
"He's so hot though, isn't he?" Andy commented.
"REALLY hot." Jean commented next. They both looked at me, expecting feedback.
"Whoa, am I with the same people here?" I said and feigned worry.
"Oh come on Jenna. Admit it." Jean said as she and Andy began talking about this gig coming up. Okay so he was really really good-looking. Not exactly the whole chiseled face crap, though his features are very distinct. He seemed like the nerdy-cool-type Oh god.. I am so not going to think about this. HE JUST TOLD YOU YOUR DRAWING WAS WEIRD. Oh wait, he said it was cool. whaaaat... oh never mind.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-jennasredwagon has entered the chatroom-
diabolical-emily : Could we have anything more in common?! Okay one more and I give up. Twisted Sister?
j_greene : lol. How could I not? hey jenna.. :)
jennasredwagon : hello..
diabolical-emily : okay. wow. some sort of connection huh? :)
j_greene : yeap.. One more? QuickTurn?
diabolical-emily : Are you kidding me?! They're like the best band! Guess what, I saw their show in Minnesota!
j_greene : WHAT.
diabolical-emily : I did!! I swear!
j_greene : no way.
diabolical-emily : wayyy. :)
jennasredwagon : i'm gonna go now... later j.
-exited chatroom-
Okay, I don't understand what just happened. I was overcome by emotion and just angrily left the chatroom. It's not like he can't talk to any other girl or something, jeez. Why am I reacting like this? Is it really.. jealousy? About what? It's not like I have feelings for Johnny.. Do I? Uggghhhh..
Oh god, it's been confirmed. I do have feelings for Johnny. I mean, why else would I get so affected by diabolical-emily? When I think about it, he's on my mind pretty often. I mean, it's weird but I can point almost anything out and relate it to Johnny.. Does that make sense? And seeing him online gives me such a strange, happy feeling.. it automatically makes my day. Wait, wait. This can't work. It won't. Online relationships? No. I don't want it to happen.. And why am I suddenly jumping to conclusions? I mean, what made me even THINK he remotely liked me in that way? Hah hah. And I wonder why my brother calls me a moron.
***
Posted at 04:37 am by whatshername88
Permalink
Saturday, September 03, 2005
Photoshop, yipee!
*gasp!* who's the cooler best friend?
so typically preppy..
^ Nice, but annoying? I wanted her to look pretty decent, but you could still imagine she could have different motives.. ;)
Lots of others to come (like chapter 8) but I hope you like these pictures.. Did they fit your idea of them?
Posted at 08:17 am by whatshername88
Permalink
Sunday, August 28, 2005
***
- Chapter seven -
I got an e-mail from Johnny a week ago, apologizing for the message with the lyrics... He sincerely told me how it was an honest accident, but somehow I still don't believe that's truly the reason why. I might have mistook it for something else though, and I guess he's the only one who knows the true meaning of that message.. At the same time, I'm really grateful that we can set this issue aside for a while.
"Welcome to LetsRockToday, where everyone is stickin' it to the man. Please observe proper chatting ettiquete and remember, Rock 'n' Roll will save your soul!! This week's news : A newly signed indie/rock band called The Sweeps will be playing this Sunday at a club called Illusion, on the corner of Christon Street. Be there at about 7. For more details, please visit thesweeps.com. See you guys there!"
Green, as usual. Hope he's here...
preshuzzangel00 : so waht bands do u lyk? ar you lyk a musichian? coz i only d8 musichians.
j_greene : mostly indie, punk, metal and ska.. the usual stuff i guess.
preshuzzangel00 : ar you in a band?
j_greene : yeah..
preshuzzangel00 : gr8!!!
rockerchick4lyf : realllly j_greene? ur a guy ryt? ASL PLEASE!
j_greene : um, yes i'm a guy.
*private message from j_greene*
j_greene : hey jenna,
jennasredwagon : hey..
j_greene : so how are you? umm, did you get the e-mail I sent?
jennasredwagon : yeah s'all cool. :)
j_greene : great.. :)
jennasredwagon : j_greene, i need you to help me.
j_greene : sure, what is it?
jennasredwagon : okay. my green highlights are starting to fade, so i need to re-dye them. What do you think, blue or neon green?
j_greene : lol! I like green. hence the 'greene'
jennasredwagon : i thought so.
j_greene : what about you? why'd you choose 'redwagon'? Is there some sort of story behind it? I mean, I don't think you just used it for no reason, right?
.........
j_greene : jenna? you don't have to tell me if you don't want to you know..
Oh boy.. I knew this was going to happen eventually.. It's all coming back now, tears were slowly starting to block my eyesight. I close my eyes slowly.. trying to get a grip on myself, but remembering him.. Dad. He'd always wanted two sons, but I obviously came out otherwise.. He was so proud of Dave, and it's not like he completely hated me or anything, but he still tried to treat me like the other son he'd always wanted. He never bought me dolls, or tea sets or any of those toys all little girls had. Instead of those barbies and those toy cooking sets, I had gotten a wagon. It was a medium-sized red wagon, a Radio Flyer. I hated him for it. For not accepting me for who I was, for making me feel like I was never going to be good enough for him. He saw the disappointment all over my face and tried to convince me that wagons were so much more useful than dolls.. because I could put anything I wanted in it, and I could take it anywhere I wanted to. Then it started to grow on me.. I grew to love it..
But then.. No. I can't tell Johnny all of this. No one would understand.. No one.
j_greene : jen? you're starting to scare me a bit over here.. are you okay?
jennasredwagon : yeah sorry. uh, had to take a phone call. About the wagon, it was just something my dad gave me before he ran off.
j_greene : are you sure? you wanna talk about it? you can tell me you know...
jennasredwagon : GEEZ johnny! what the fuck do you want!!! some sappy, pathetic tragedy of a stupid wagon? Just drop it okay?
j_greene : okay, okay. sorry.
jennasreadwagon : it's fine. anyway i gotta go re-dye my hair. talk to you soon.
j_greene : okay. bye..
jennasredwagon : bye.
"JENNA! Come downstairs!!" A muffled voice from the bottom of the stairs screamed.
"Okay mom!! Coming!" I said as I turned off the computer and started making my way downstairs.
"Jenna dear, could you help me make this pie?" She asked excitedly, although it was more of an order than a question. oh well. Wait a minute.. mom. make. a pie. huh?
"Mom! You don't even cook! what makes you think you can make a pie?!" I said skeptically.
"Hey! You're forgetting that time I made you guys cookies!" She said defensively.
"Mother, you're forgetting it was ready-made dough." I said raising my eyebrows.
"True.. Now what do we need-" She squints down at the recipe book reciting the ingredients..
Olivia Lane was usually busy over the duration of the week, trying to provide for the family. Although she was usually swarmed with stress due to work, she still remained beautiful, having deep hazel eyes, wavy auburn hair and soft features. She's been through a lot over the past years, and she is clearly a strong, independent woman.
"Moooom, I have to go re-dye my hair.. why don't you just call me when you're having a hard time, okay? I asked. I wasn't too good at cooking anyway..
"Sure Jenna.. that sounds fine.." Olivia replied.. still highly preoccupied with the recipe.
I go up the stairs again to my room, painted seafoam green but bombarded with the things I considered important.. band stuff (posters, flyers, cds.. you get the idea), sketches, my computer, books and then I see it... Red paint peeling off the edges, rust was obviously visible in many parts.. Off-white words due to age spelled out R dio Fly r. It was my wagon.. It was THE wagon. I hadn't really paid attention to it all these years, because it would overwhelm me with the emotions I so forcefully kept from everyone.. I walk over to it and wipe the dust off on the left corner, I remembered I wrote something on it before.. I just couldn't remember what.. JENNA AND DAVE'S ROKKETSHIP. I remembered now.. It's been so long.. I couldn't bear to keep it in the garage, it just didn't belong there. It was connected to me for more than 10 years, I couldn't just keep it there like a piece of junk that would so easily be forgotten. I don't think he'd want me to forget..
Just then the doorbell rang.. I woke up to reality, feeling emptier than I had already felt when I talked to Johnny.. I couldn't tell him this. It's too personal and he wouldn't understand anyway. I heard low voices coming from downstairs.. I guess Dave and Marcus are here.. I thought as I got my bottle of green hair dye and entered my bathroom..
Marcus is my brother's best friend here in San Francisco.. They met over the summer, because Marcus just lives on the other end of the block. I seem him in our house pretty often but I'm cool with it since he's a good guy. He likes to wear boy/girl band shirts, so he's really funny that way.. He tried homeschooling for the start of the school year, just 'coz he was curious even if he's been at Westmount High almost his whole life.. Strange one, Marcus.. But he and Dave get along so well...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I walk into the hallway sleepily, man, last night gig was awesome.. I thought as I began replaying the thoughts in my head as I continued walking..
"Baby, We need to talk. I mean those goddam GROUPIES were all over you yesterday! What the fuck is with that!! I mean, they should've got the hint when I made out with you in the back. Jeez. Those sluts."
I look at Anna skeptically. What a hypocrite. Has she already forgotten that a month ago they were her best friends? Just because she's my girlfriend now everyone else becomes.. lower than her? I don't know who she thinks she is. Whatever.. I try to ignore Anna's useless rants which she happens to consider so damn important and play with my tongue ring instead..
"Move it losers!! Can't you see where we're going?!" Anna said angrily at two people as they passed by..
"Whatever groupie. Go make out or something." One of the girls replied, I recognized her as Mona Flaire, one of my good friends.. until Anna came along. I laughed to myself at the witty comment as Anna tried to redeem herself with a crappy comeback..
"Well at least I dont umm.. look like I bled all over my hair!" Man, she doesn't know what she's doing.. The two girls left but only after I saw a flash of neon green.
Neon green.. could it really be her? What, no. Westmount?
I stop walking and continue to stare at the pair laughing hard about something..
"Baby? Johnny? Hello!!" Anna waved her hands in front of me.
"You go ahead. I forgot something in the car." I slowly walked towards them, keeping my distance so I would go unnoticed. If it really is her, she's gorgeous.. She dressed casually, Band tee, cargos and chucks.. she looked really.. well, hot. Compared to the other girls whose mottos were 'beauty is pain' and forced themselves into wearing these tiny pieces of cloth just so guys would get into their pants, Jenna was beautiful.
"Jenna!!! How lovely to see my best friends sister so cheerful." Marcus said as he arrived with Dave and slapped her on the back.
Wait. WHAT?! Marcus knows her?! Marcus???? And Dave! The new guy!! What the-- holy shit. The worlds too small.
I was suprised, sure as hell. But I was also suddenly so happy. This was my chance. I could finally be with her, or at least be her friend. But how? I thought more about it was I passed them and got a cd from my car.. I won't tell her I'm j_greene, not yet. I want to know if she's the REAL Jenna around me, and on the net. I just need to know.. If I never do, then all my feelings for her are useless..
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I walk to my locker to put in the books I needed a while ago and wait for Mona to come so we can go to lunch.. I turn the lock and I open my locker. What the--
A cd? I don't remember having this.. The Sweeps? Sweeps... Why do they sound so familar? Who put this in here!!! No one knows this combination.. I look around, but I'm one of the few who are out early for lunch and most of them are on the other side of the hallway.. Okay, calm down.. I'll listen to it when I get home.. S'all cool.. It's a cd, not a bomb..
"Hey." Mona greeted as she arrived, putting her books in her locker.
"Mona, did you put this in?" I asked her, just to be sure..
"Cd? Nope.. I dunno your locker combination.. What band is it?" She asked, now facing me.
"Uh, The Sweeps?" I said uncertainly and still a bit shaken..
"Oh." She said turning away and pre-occupying herself with her jacket zipper.
"What? What is it?" I asked urgently..
"Nothing, just listen to the cd.. they're good. Maybe your brother put it in.."
"Yeah, I guess so.." I said leaving it in my locker and walk with Mona..
"So what's for lunch?" Mona asked and we began thinking about possibilities...
"Mystery meat and gross green stuff." A low voice came from behind..
"Hey Martin." Mona and I greeted him as he began walking with us..
"Hey Mona. Heey Jenna." Martin said as smilled widely.
"So it's seriously the green gross stuff again?" I asked suddenly losing my appetite..
"Yup.. with yellow seasoning on top." He winked at me and we started laughing.
"Yipee. I can't wait." Mona said as she feigned excitement and we started laughing again.
***
Posted at 06:56 am by whatshername88
Permalink
Friday, August 19, 2005
A/N : POV switching now!!! Be alert! :)
***
- Chapter 6 -
What does it all mean.. What was Johnny implying when he sent me that message.. I don't understand. How do other girls react to this kind of thing? I mean, Johnny and I talked often, sure. But never once did he send me something like this. Never once did he post something that I had to over-analyze. Could it really be that he wanted to.. go to the next level? What the fuck is the next level anyway?! Wait.. Do I want to go to the next level? Um... is no comment okay?
Honestly, I don't know.. Online is such uh... it's such an impossible word. Well of course it's possible, but I mean it has it's limits ya know? Dammit! This stupid and probably useless problem has been corrupting my thoughts for the past two weeks now.. Theories have become redundant and my brain is starting to give up on me. I'm not used to this behavior. This is just so weird..
you better take a seat,
yeah stay away coz i'm about to wear you out
and i'm not afraid
to tell you what this is all about
Mona's been a good listener the whole time, seeing as we've grown close over the past few weeks. It's so easy to talk to her, because we have so much more in common that I had with Tracy.. Speaking of which, I haven't been able to talk to her much lately. Last time I was with her, she needed to go--get this-- SHOPPING for her first official date with Steven. Don't get me wrong, I love to shop, but to do it just for a guy? That's not me. I really don't understand why she loves that guy so much. No offense, but he has no brains, no looks, no personality, but he still thinks he's too cool for school. What is up with that?! Oh, somewhere in there I failed to mention he's borderline hiphop and metal. Uh, that doesn't make sense! Oh, speaking of not making sense, you should see how he dresses. Ugh. Let's not get into that. the worst part about this whole Steven thing is, aside from Tracy talking to him at every opportune moment is that she's actually starting to THINK like him. The rock is slowly rubbing off, she threw her chucks out, and slowly I'm going to be next. I know for a fact we're drifting apart, we hardly have anything to talk about anymore. I'm so torn up about this whole j_greene thing and the fact that my best friend for two years is taking a turn for the worst. Right when I thought my life was getting better again something always tears it up in front of me.
And now the world me
Is slowly blending together,
Like a wheel of colors,
Are we so different you and I,
Are we so different you and I?
---------------------------------------------------------
Dammit.
What the hell was I thinking sending her that message? I wanted to push the send button, but actually sending the message to her was a complete accident. Rest assured I had fallen for Jenna. Geez, you couldn't blame me. There was just something about her. I know it's a lot to say because we've never really met in person, but I'm hopeful that we will. Somehow. I'll find her.
"JOHNNY WHAT THE HELL!" yelled Martin looking agitated.
"Huh? Wha?" I looked around confusedly.
Of course.. now I remember we'd been having band practice. And I missed my solo. Thrice.
"What the fuck is wrong with you today! All week! ALL MONTH! Why don't you concentrate anymore dammit!" Greg screamed at me.
"I'm sorry alright!!! Let's take it from the second chorus again. I promise I won't screw up. I PROMISE!" I yelled back to them, all staring at me starting to get pissed off.
We're here at your place..
Too little time to waste..
Are you putting me to this test?
Relax baby, I'll take care of the rest..
Here it comes.... okay, now.
I execute my 30 second solo, full of passion and emotion.. I was thinking about her, how she told me how she was an aspiring writer and photographer. I thought about her poem about Eternity.. pain, bliss.. I thought about how much I wanted to be able to take her hand in mine.. I needed to be with her...
"Johnny!!" A high-pitched squeak broke my train of thought and suddenly I felt sticky vanilla flavored lips press against mine.
I pulled away, to be brought back to reality. Anna...
Anna, my GIRLFRIEND... fuck.
"You were great baby..." She said stroking my arm.
"Uh, yeah thanks." I replied.. aching for Jenna.
"Good job Johnny, just don't space out again or I'll kick your ass." Greg said as he gave me a friendly slap on the back.
"Yea.. sorry 'bout that.." I rubbed the back of my neck while Anna was hugging my chest so hard I couldn't breathe.
"Uh, Anna, not so tight.. uh.. I can't breathe." I tried to pull her away from me.
"Oh, sorry babe." she giggled and constricted herself around my arm instead.
No.. It's never gonna work. How can I get Jenna when I have this ...thing slowly blocking my blood circulation here? What is it with girls and squeezing the shit out of us guys? Anyway, I only started going out with Anna because I knew she really liked me and uh, coz of what happened one night during summer vacation. I had drank quite a bit after a gig and was feeling down about being so far away from Jenna.. then Anna had somehow found her way into my err.. mouth and we've been together ever since. I know I should break it off with her, since there really isn't anything there. But there are times when I feel so, angry and depressed about being away from Jenna physically, that it's not so bad to have Anna there whenever I need her.
"So I was out with the girls looking for something to wear to our Dance next week, and I saw this really nice dress, and there's hardly anything covering the back, and Tina said I looked really sexy in it.. It's purple and it has a lot of lace--"
"Johnny? HELLO!"
No one could compare to Jenna. No one.
Posted at 08:59 am by whatshername88
Permalink
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
***
- Chapter 5 -
A few days had passed, but they aren't worth taking note of. I had been assigned to my locker now and conveniently vandalized it to my liking. School work was going alright I guess, but Art by far is the best. Mr. Walters definitely knows what he's talking about. He tells us to believe what we want, do what we want, how we want, and he just wants to help us improve. He believes that every artist is unique, and he can't tell us to change and become the same, which is exactly what I think too.
I was just getting the books I needed for the first period when I heard a grunt and a bang from the locker beside me. I look to see who it was, since that locker hasn't been assigned to anyone 'til yesterday. The first thing I notice is her shaggy red/black hair. Aside from her multiple piercings, I find myself staring at a black loose tank, stud belts (like mine!), brown cargos and skater shoes. I guess she saw me looking at her because she started looking at me too, also checking my outfit. Haha. We have so much in common already. I guess it's the first thing we punks do to analyze if they're on our side, or the preps side.
"Hey." She said.
"Hey.." I replied. Witty, I know.
"So you like Green Day huh?" She asked, noticing my stickers of Green Day and my little shrine for Billie Joe..
"I think they rock." I said starting to smile. I noticed she had a lot of stickers on her binder that were like the ones I had in my locker. A possible friend?
"Awesome. Name's Ramona Flaire. But friends call me Mona."
"Cool name. I'm Jenna Lane."
"Likewise. So what's your first period?" Ramona asked.
"Let's see... I got Asian History with Mr... White? Yeah him.. What??" I noticed Mona snorted loudly, bit her lip and gave me a look of pity.
"Umm... is he that bad?" I asked slowly.
"Yeah, good luck man. I got English with Harper. Let's meet here before lunch k? I doubt you have anyone to eat with?" She asked
"No I don't.. except my brother.." I said slightly embarrassed.
"It's settled then. See you before lunch." She said and walked away.
About three seconds later the bell rang and I rushed to the other side of the building.. seeing as Classroom II-G was on the opposite side. How convenient.
---
Oh.my.god. So THIS is what Mona meant when she snorted. I have NEVER been in a class so.. horribly... [insert all the bad adjectives here]. Mr. White is boring but really strict and can't teach for crap even if he seems to be so in love with his raspy voice. He's also balding and has curves in all the WRONG parts. Ew. Mental Images..
I kept myself awake by singing good songs in my head and tapping my fingers on the table. This is how my History class went :
I've got a hunger.. (tap tap)
Twisting my stomach into knots.. (tap tap)
"Asian History is very, very, VERY important.. It is in Asia where civilizations came about, and also where most religions are based in...."
Pa pa, pa pa (tap tap)
This is sound of settling... (tap tap)
"Now assuming you have all read the first few chapters of your book, who can tell me where the first civilization came from?"
I declare I don't care know more! (tap tap tap)
Growin up and out and growing bored.. (tap tap)
In my smoked out boring room! (tap tap tap)
"WHERE IS THAT BOTHERSOME TAPPING SOUND COMING FROM?!!"
Oops?
"Rrriiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnngggggggg!!!"
THANK GOD! I grab my bag as fast as I can and get through all my other morning subjects as fast as I can. I was back putting the books back in my locker while waiting for Mona to come but I see my brother coming by, with a couple of guys behind him. At least we both made friends soon enough..
"Hey Jen, this is Pete and this is Steve. This is my sister Jenna." He pointed to two messy-haired, pierced, 'high'-looking rockers behind him.
"Hey."
"Hey." Pete replied.
"Hey Dave, you didn't tell me your sister was... hot!" Steve said eyeing me.
"Piss off." I said, angrily starting to turn red. How dare he talk about me like some.. object! How degrading!
"Ooh. Feisty."
"Jenna! Come on let's go!" Mona came walking towards us. I turned to her gratefully, before Dave pulled me back.
"Are you gonna be ok sis?" He asked.
"Sure.. Are you?" I asked.
"Sure. See you after school."
We began walking our separate ways but Steve was still obviously watching us..
"Damn!! Pete! Those ladies are fiiiine!" Why that perv!
"Up yours Steve!!" I called out while Mona gave him the finger.
We started laughing as we walked to the cafeteria. I met her other friends.. namely Jean, Andy, Mike, Martin and Jack.. Like Mona, they're all really cool and we have lots in common. For the first time since I've been here, I'm starting to feel like I belong. Oh god. That is SO cheesy. I don't mean to bore you with my pathetic, lonely life..
Summary of the later part of the day...
I meet my brother and we go home, discussing how our lunch with friends went. I now know that Steve has a thing for me. Please no.
We had dinner with my mom, who was happy to hear we were starting to fit into our new school..
After dinner, I went up to my computer and checked my messenger. I had like 3 offline messages. Two, useless forwards.. but the last one.. I didn't know how to react.. uhhh..
j_greene : All the miles that separate..
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face..
I'm here without you baby,
But you're still on my lonely mind..
I think about you baby, and I dream about you all the time..
I'm here without you baby..
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight there's only you and me.
WHOA.
***
Posted at 05:50 am by whatshername88
Permalink
Friday, August 12, 2005
***
- The Fourth -
The first day was a bit of a blur. I've gotten used to all the stares & side comments, because its become easy for me to ignore people when they talk about you. Plus the IPod really works wonders for people like me, it really does.
Everything seems so uncomfortable right now.. I need to be in a place I can release all my stress.. A 2nd, oh wait.. 3rd home. Not Washington, not California.. something better.
"Welcome to LetsRockToday, where everyone is stickin' it to the man. Please observe proper chatting ettiquete and remember, Rock 'n' Roll will Save Your Soul!! Rock on!!"
I choose for my font color as usual and checked who was online...
*jennas_red_wagon has entered the chatroom*
j_greene : About time Jen, I was torn between hoping you'd come soon and hoping butterfly_chick wouldn't come back. lol.
jennas_red_wagon : sorry to keep you waiting. :|
j_greene : that's better. so how was your first day?
jennas_red_wagon : horrible. :(
j_greene : why? what happened?
jennas_red_wagon : the usual. got stared at coz i was a "freak" and made fun of by four brainless bimbos. At least my brother was there with me.. *sigh*
j_greene : say, those bimbos sound familiar.
jennas_red_wagon : lol. well they're the stereotypical preps found in every school..
j_greene : true. your brother's name is Dave right?
jennas_red_wagon : yeah, why?
j_greene : just wondering. ;)
j_greene : try not to worry so much Jen, i know it'll turn out just fine.. meet anyone cool yet?
jennas_red_wagon : not really, no.
*tracy_dee86 has entered the chatroom*
tracy_dee86 : JENNA!
jennas_red_wagon : hey trace!!!
tracy_dee86 : How are you!!!!!! tell me everything. how was school?
jennas_red_wagon : it's horrible trace.. I was surrounded by preps.
tracy_dee86 : that's horrible jenna. i'm so sorry. *hug*
tracy_dee86 : everyone seems okay over here... we all miss you. I've been staying with Steve a lot lately, since you left.
jennas_red_wagon : oh. i thought you hated him?
tracy_dee86 : well.. i changed my mind. he's been really nice to me over the summer.
jennas_red_wagon : oh. ok. uh, brb.
*private message from j_greene*
*j_greene : are you okay?
*jennas_red_wagon : no. I hate this. I hate this new school. My best friend has replaced me for a guy.
*j_greene : if it's any consolation, i won't replace you for butterfly_chick. ;)
*jennas_red_wagon : lmao!! how comforting.
*j_greene : I know.
*j_greene : Seriously, don't worry 'bout school. You'll meet people soon.
*jennas_red_wagon : thanks for caring, really.
*j_greene : no prob, jen.
----
Back in the main screen...
tracy_dee86 : and he brought me to the theme park last weekend, it was sooo fun! I might actually start to like him... what do you think jen?
tracy_dee86 : JEN. are you there?
*butterfly_chick has entered the chatroom*
*private message from j_greene*
*j_greene : oh shit! it's her! i'll talk to you soon okay jen? later!
-----
I laugh to myself again when I remember what had happened last night. Johnny really helped me give Westmount High another chance. But something really bothered me.
Tracy has been my best friend since 7th grade and never once has she thought about getting a boyfriend. Now I find that she's been with that Steven guy since summer? Even if they're not together, I KNOW they will be. That's always how it is with boys and girls. It's inevitable. As for Johnny, he's only a friend. ONLY.
Why is this happening? My BEST FRIEND. She's not one of them. She said she never would be.. and suddenly I'm not so sure anymore.
***
Posted at 08:44 am by whatshername88
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Thursday, August 11, 2005
***
- The Third -
One last check as we walk to the main building of the school...
- Hair - messy with green highlights...
- Eyes - green eyeliner, black eyeshadow
- Lips - slightly pink from my yummy Skittle lip balm
- Shirt - from my favorite thrift store, loose and looks a bit dirty..
- Pants - dark greenish-brown cargos, with some rips at the side *accidentally on purpose* and of course, my trusty black stud belt..
- Shoes - beat up black chucks with dark gray laces
- Bag - slung over my shoulders with it's strap very low, full of doodles and pins.. and some rips (not my fault)
okay. Everything seems pretty normal, maybe even better actually. But then again, this isn't the usual outfit the average American teenager would wear.
"Will you stop fussing over yourself already? You're acting like a goddam prep!" Dave said looking agitated.
Obviously he had been watching me fix my outfit and smoothe down my hair. That's my brother for you.
As we entered the hall, we attracted many eyes and a few whispers and suddenly, I felt my neck warm up. I thought I would find more diversity here, but everyone seemed to have come straight out of one of those teen bubble-gummy magazines.
"Okay Jen, let's look for the principals office." Interrupted Dave, as he grabbed my arm lightly.
"Ok, you can go ahead, I'll follow behind.." I replied.
David walked ahead in search for the office, continually checking if I was still walking behind, even if I was only a few steps away. Sometimes I love my brother, sometimes I completely hate him. But today I was grateful he was so protective.
"OHMIGOD KRISTY! Like, WHAT is she WEARING?" A high-pitched voice interjected my thoughts from behind.
"Obviously TRASH. Look at those jeans! They like, came straight out of a garbage. I like, swear." Another voice, most probably that Kristy character replied.
I knew they were talking about me, but I continued to stare at the marble floors, adjusting my black plastic glasses from time to time. 'Be cool...'
"Is she like, new or something?"
"I don't care. She's such a freak."
"Yeah."
Since I had nothing better to do, I began complaining to my ever-so-interesting mind. 'This REALLY sucks. Why am I here! Things were so much better back at home. And why won't these bimbos stop following me?! It doesn't help that they keep criticizing me so LOUDLY. Where the hell is that principal's office?! Damn. I knew I should've brought my m&m's... Now I--
CRASH.
"Whoops, sorry loser!" A tall muscular guy passed by and almost knocked me off my feet, but he did manage to crash into me hard enough to knock my books to the floor and leave a sharp pain on my shoulder.
I picked up my books cautiously, you know.. just in case one of those cliche ass-wipe jocks try to pull another stunt off. Meanwhile, those gossip-hungry bimbos continued talking.
I could see them out of the corner of my eye. The tallest one with long, smooth blonde hair opened her powder compact thing as she spoke to her friends.
"So anyway, you should have been at the party last weekend. That band thing played and I wasn't really like, LISTENING to what they were playing.. whatever. But anyway, the guy with the guitar thing was like, so hot."
The other three nodded their heads in agreement. 'How pathetic is this?' I thought. I will never be able to understand how the world can take music for granted. But then again, that's just me, and I'm kinda weird.. well to other people at least. But still-
"Okay sis, it's back there, but we missed a turn, you see this guy said it was-" Dave had walked back to me but he was interrupted.
I was fully aware that my brother Dave was good-looking since he got a respectable amount of attention from girls at our old school, but I was really disappointed at the fact that the first girls to harrass him were the 4 bimbos who kept making fun of me.
"Hi, Are you new? I'm Veronica Hensley. Do you like, need any help?" The tall blonde -- I mean, Veronica (toot!) said as she flashed her perfectly straight pearly whites at Dave, obviously trying to look like an innocent, sweet girl-next-door like in the movies. Pathetic.
"Oh. umm, I'm David (notice how he gives his full name -- Dave's only for real friends. and sisters. I mean, sister.) and this is my sister Jenna."
They glance at me for about half a second and start staring at my brother again.
"Uh, we just moved here from Washington. And um, we were just going to the Principal's office for our schedules." He continued.
"Oh. That's so cool!!" Veronica whatsherstupidface replied, pearly whites still blindingly failing to disappear. The cronies just giggled along. Whatever. Preps.
"HI! I'm umm, I'm Kristy Carmichael!!!" Slave number 1 with long brown high-lighted hair said in the midst of a somewhat awkward silence.
As if on que, the other cronies took the opportunity to introduce themselves as well. Courtney Eastridge happens to be the least attractive of their not-so-ugly selves.. and the stupidest. She just seems to strike me as the reason why blonde jokes were made in the first place. And then there was Stacie Evans. The most voluptuous bimbo I've ever seen. And probably the sluttiest. But out of the 4, Veronica Hensley was no doubt, the life-sized barbie doll everyone wanted to be. Even I have to admit that I've never seen anyone more attractive. She was Exotic.. Gorgeous.. Elegant. I know what you're thinking and I am NOT a lesbian. Or a bisexual. Just to clarify. Heh.
Either way they pretty much looked the same from afar, because they were all wearing mini-skirts and tank tops, only different colors. Like I said, straight out of a mag.
We stood there for about a thousand more eternities (if there's such a thing).. in silence, which made it all the more awkward.
God, please tell me my life will get better.
And to my surprise, it sorta did.
***
Posted at 07:17 am by whatshername88
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